Deja vu

I lay awake from a dead sleep with this ashen-look upon my face.

It couldn’t be true.

How could I say good-bye to you?

I’ve mentally prepared myself for the day the shoe fell from the sky.

My brain neglected to inform my heart this time.

I saw this scene in a dream; you were lifeless,with your hands firmly pressed across your chest.

It was all too real, this imagery.

A piece from a journal written by shakespeare himself.

I described it perfectly.

You sat across from me, divulged in yet another one of your stories.

We laughed so hard, our eyes weeped.

The sky began to rain and everything changed.

I reached for your hand and poof!
You were gone again.

Gasping for breath I rose in the dark of night.

Sweat drenched my face and my heart beat outside my chest.

I wasn’t ready to not hear anymore stories.

I wasn’t ready to admit to weeks of unanswered texts.

I saw it in a dream;

You slid into a box and glided down the steps.

You made death seem so easy, as though all you had to do was close your eyes and sleep.

Images run through me like a kaleidoscopic wheel of unshed emotions.

I’ve called out to you.

Will you answer me?

Note: My big brother recently passed away and I wrote this poem with the hope that I could compact my feelings into a way that would allow me  to cope with his loss. Presently, it hasn’t fully sank in that he’s gone. I find myself crying randomly when theres no need to cry and laughing to distract my mind from enduring another emotional battle. The wounds are so new that sometimes I’m unaware that they even exist. I wanted to share this with you guys in hopes that they help you in whatever loss you may have endured.

Little Bird

Little bird, your wings have spread and the sun is set

I gaze up into your wake in hopes I’ve made no mistakes

Breathing in your earthy and fragile embrace as your wings fan my face.

Little bird, your wings bring a sense of comfort –a sense of ease.

My pleas of content have finally been answered.

My frail fingers met your beak.

Gazing into your eyes and I can finally see.

A vision of the future, no matter how sad,

I can still follow my heart and the grey will be nothing but a haze.

Skye

If I could wish for anything at all
It would be to grasp my womb and bring forth the life that was taken.
The occasional blissful dream brings new hope of your existence.
The sound of children playing sends my mind into a frenzy as jealousy creeps through my soul slowly.
Eyes glossed from fresh tears that have not yet shed.
Eye brows furrowing to fight back the turmoil still brewing.
Glancing back at the shower of presents left to dust in a cold dark corner.
An occasional sniff of newborn fabric temporarily puts my mind at ease.
Happy birthday to my beautiful unfinished masterpiece.