All must come to an end

I think about the good times and suddenly I realize it was all a lie.
I was using you and you were using me.
Each of us stirred our own misery.
Just when you think you’re missed it all comes to an end
The rug is pulled and your eyes covered with wool.
A part of me wished I hadn’t found the lighter.
The flames ignited and the rest was a blur as smoke filled my lung with turmoil.
First the carpet and then the drapes
I stood at the edge of glory, first one lie and then two.
I didn’t blame you.
It was me, I never said no, I kept walking.
Our magnetic energy somehow pulled at my heart strings.
One by one I began to move involuntarily without question
Our lips met and my fingers reached for the back of your neck and as I drew you in.
It felt right and yet in my mind I knew I started this fight within myself as I placed you in front of me to shield me from the bullets that shot through you to me.
This was the last time I saw your face as life seeped through you and I screamed your name.

The broken

I lay here just for a little while—
The room has ceased to spin and my mind boggles yet again.
I’m trapped inside myself with my heart beating outside my chest.
These walls are caving in and my mind fluctuates between reality and fantasy.
I can’t shake the memories—
Each vision of my surrender is like a thousand tiny blades into my back.
The pleas for peace in my broken voice and the tears of joy when the war was over were spoken in nothing more than a mere whisper.
The emotions resurfaced as the life inside me faded in and out of consciousness.
The little flicker of hope barely in existence and yet it’s clung to so dearly.
A small tremble escapes me during the aftermath and I’m forced to look up.
There is no god here, no one up there above the clouds to watch over those who can’t defend themselves.
The reinforcements are here, freeing me from this cell where I’ve served nearly two life terms.
I may be free to leave, but the bracelet attached to my ankle tells me they will always know where I am.
What is freedom if it comes with limits?
Is anyone ever really free to live?

Master key

As I sit in the dark,
I ponder life and all of its parts.
It appears to be a tough road ahead of me and I’ve got the wrong equipment for this journey.
Within my hand I hold the key to everything that you will need.
My heart.
My respect.
My loyalty.
Even my deepest regrets.
You can have it all with this key as long as you make a promise that you intend to keep.
With this key you have all of me—my mind and my body, and even my spirit.
My body shakes underneath your touch.
It becomes the putty that makes us one.
I need to know that you are in this wholeheartedly and will not wander.
So put your money where your mouth is and release me from this slumber.

Crimson tide

A gentle rock back and forth is all I have left of this calm.
The moment I open my eyes to the nothingness that’s left behind I will know
Nothing is safe here.
Not anymore.
I rest my cheek upon my knees and whisper the words of comfort.
“Everything will be alright,” I say as my eyes remain closed.
The salt-filled droplets behind my eyes release themselves with sickened tears.
I do believe that the storm has passed, but the memories remain as if it’s all the same and I can’t bring myself to say no to you.
I envision your face in front of me the moment I open my eyes to spy on you.
The look of hurt that leaves its holes in my heart.
My voice has gone missing from the slash within my throat that has left my windpipe damaged from the gash.
I almost wish the knife wounds had killed me and took along my memories.
I’ve wished for nothing more than the haze to take over me and remember nothing.
Not even you killing me in my dreams.
I look back upon this day and I never saw it coming.
A shower led to this moment taken from bliss.
No smiles or laughter, but the puffed up eyes caused by shed tears.
I wish you well wherever you’ve gone from here.