It’s in the eyes

I can see myself in a spiral for control—
I’ve lost it all.
The virtue that is I is gone and I don’t know why.
Playing the role of a woman who has it all
I can’t help but cry because it’s a beautiful lie.
It’s in the eyes,
My soul on a display for an Oscar-winning award for the “best leading woman in a drama”
Looking up to the sky— there are no answers when the sun won’t shine.
I’ve got to know right now because the only truth is in the eyes.
One minute I’m fine and the next I’ve fallen to my knees, curled into a ball.
I must be blind—there’s more lies than truths and the anger won’t subside.
Look me in the eye and tell me everything will be alright.

An honest heart

I awaken from yet another sleepless night.
My mind spinning is circles as the ends begin to unravel.
Today, my mind may be in a fog of unanswered thoughts—
I have to know just where we stand.
Is it in or out?
This door is not revolving, it isn’t what it seems.
This is not a dream within a dream,
Nor an illusion of what it once seemed.
I dig my heels in deeper as I see a lunge within my near future.
I can’t envision life without you, but life with you is a complication that I can’t seem to tame.
Your words seep past your lips and I begin to wonder what ‘if’
Is that a lie you begin to form as your nostrils flare with disbelief that don’t quite match your eyes?
You forget, I know you so well.
I know your body as if it were my own.
Don’t tell a lie with another lie.
I want the truth this time.