All must come to an end

I think about the good times and suddenly I realize it was all a lie.
I was using you and you were using me.
Each of us stirred our own misery.
Just when you think you’re missed it all comes to an end
The rug is pulled and your eyes covered with wool.
A part of me wished I hadn’t found the lighter.
The flames ignited and the rest was a blur as smoke filled my lung with turmoil.
First the carpet and then the drapes
I stood at the edge of glory, first one lie and then two.
I didn’t blame you.
It was me, I never said no, I kept walking.
Our magnetic energy somehow pulled at my heart strings.
One by one I began to move involuntarily without question
Our lips met and my fingers reached for the back of your neck and as I drew you in.
It felt right and yet in my mind I knew I started this fight within myself as I placed you in front of me to shield me from the bullets that shot through you to me.
This was the last time I saw your face as life seeped through you and I screamed your name.

The broken

I lay here just for a little while—
The room has ceased to spin and my mind boggles yet again.
I’m trapped inside myself with my heart beating outside my chest.
These walls are caving in and my mind fluctuates between reality and fantasy.
I can’t shake the memories—
Each vision of my surrender is like a thousand tiny blades into my back.
The pleas for peace in my broken voice and the tears of joy when the war was over were spoken in nothing more than a mere whisper.
The emotions resurfaced as the life inside me faded in and out of consciousness.
The little flicker of hope barely in existence and yet it’s clung to so dearly.
A small tremble escapes me during the aftermath and I’m forced to look up.
There is no god here, no one up there above the clouds to watch over those who can’t defend themselves.
The reinforcements are here, freeing me from this cell where I’ve served nearly two life terms.
I may be free to leave, but the bracelet attached to my ankle tells me they will always know where I am.
What is freedom if it comes with limits?
Is anyone ever really free to live?

A haunting tale

I tossed and turned and the visions become more vivid.
At times they became harder and harder to decipher what was real and what was make-believe.
My heart beat raced as my eyes flung open with current dismal.
I was falling deeper and deeper into a fixation that only my mind could trace.
What of this dream that’s somehow inside of another fantasy, one of which my eyes have cast to play tricks on me?
My mind rambled to rehash itself only to come up empty.
Defense mode has set in and every little sound released melancholy tears.
I whispered to myself, but the more the words flowed the crazier I began to sound.
This dream I’ve seen play before me isn’t a dream at all.
It’s a memory.
A memory constantly on repeat so I’ll never forget what happened to me.

One for the devil

Gazing out of the window,
My mind wandering.
Thoughts begin to process, yet nothing comes easily.
I watch as the children begin to laugh and play, wishing a smile would form upon my face.
I can feel it, feel the sudden unease of the fight within me.
Closing my eyes I dream, dream of the place I wish I could go.
Anywhere far, far away from here.
I’ve watched my life flash before my very eyes.
The fairy tale of a lover once scorned seeking to find the purity of the angel who spread its wings.
Fly,fly little wing.
Fly where only the angels sing.
A song once pure, yet now tainted with the deceit that throws itself at my feet.
“Kneel,” it tells me, a voice spoken no higher than a mere whisper.
The trembles sink in as my body absorbs the poison of artificial numbing.
I feel no pain any longer as the voices subside and a swirl of dizziness appears a moment too late.
The lights turn out.
“At peace,” it whispers.
Anguish no more.