Loveless suicide

To whomever this may concern,
Tonight I bring you my last entry.
I’ve grown too feeble and my heart too empty.
I stand here with it in my hands,
The sweet blade loving my skin as it opens me up and inside is my surprise.
Not a single drop of essence is shed, but the pain within me is all I have left.
It is mine and mine alone.
I’ve staked my claim and this is gold.
No one will notice; I will go undetected.
The blade reaches my chest and I take the plunge that is my death.
No one will come running.
I will not plead for help.
I’m free from myself as I shout “nevermore!” and black out.

A stranger’s eyes

I tossed and turned all night.
My heart nearly leapt through my chest as my mind spun me senseless.
Your words replayed over and over again as I tried to forget them.
My heart is heavy today as I remembered what was and could have been.
As the sweat trickled down my forehead I perceived you for who you once were.
Happy and unafraid, yet now as I gazed into the eyes of a familiar stranger, confusion washed over me.
The overwhelming sensation was like Novocaine and I felt nothing.
Happy pictures began to surface as the strangers baring their teeth stared back at me.
A heart once filled with hope now reeked of blackened deceit.
I’m wounded, but not weak.
A cat always lands on its feet.

One with the vampires

If just for a day I could be free to go on living and doing as I please—
No one to answer to, not even you.
If just for a day I could be numb—
No more emotions to ruin the little bit of happiness that I’ve conjured up and washed down with salt.
Coming to a halt as the light bulb goes off.
My humanity turned off and I’m free to roam the streets with less agony.
Immortality couldn’t be any greener if the idea had come to me in a dead sleep and crowned me queen of its very existence.
If just for a day the nothingness that I feel would heal—
Layer after thickened layer of ice would thaw, leaving no damages to my already bandaged heart;
Moving on wouldn’t be so hard.
If only for a day I wish not to feel pain.