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Today was supposed to be a good day.
I woke to the sun shining and thought everything would be ok.
I walked outside and a wrench kissed it all away.
There was anger in their faces and the words of pure hatred.
“How could he do this? I know him!” they chanted.
I was raised to think before I speak—to look both ways before crossing the street.
I was raised to be respectful and not share all of my goodies.
Today my heart hurt a little.
I wished I could undo what I said— but the words were in the air, strapped down with cement.
I wore the scarlet “A” and labeled a whore because I didn’t lie down and scream “more!”
Today it replayed in my mind the day I drank too much wine and passed out in a house that wasn’t mine.
I woke up to a room I didn’t recognize.
It smelled of stale sex and cigarettes.
Someone touched me and I tried to shout for help.
A quick hand over my mouth and whispers of “Don’t scream” as he entered me.
Tears ran down my face as I stopped fighting.
He was too strong and my body too weak.
As I look outside my door and see you all stand there—judging me.
I too blame me.
I blame myself everyday, because I didn’t try harder to scream.
One day something may happen to your neighbors,friends, daughters, homeless woman down the street.
I hope you don’t judge them the same way you judged me.