Let it Burn

Photo courtesy of hookingupsmart.com

Today was supposed to be a good day.

I woke to the sun shining and thought everything would be ok.

I walked outside and a wrench kissed it all away.

There was anger in their faces and the words of pure hatred.

“How could he do this? I know him!” they chanted.

I was raised to think before I speak—to look both ways before crossing the street.

I was raised to be respectful and not share all of my goodies.

Today my heart hurt a little.

I wished I could undo what I said— but the words were in the air, strapped down with cement.

I wore the scarlet “A” and labeled a whore because I didn’t lie down and scream “more!”
Today it replayed in my mind the day I drank too much wine and passed out in a house that wasn’t mine.

I woke up to a  room I didn’t recognize.

It smelled of stale sex and cigarettes.

Someone touched me and I tried to shout for help.

A quick hand over my mouth and whispers of “Don’t scream” as he entered me.

Tears ran down my face as I stopped fighting.

He was too strong and my body too weak.

As I look outside my door and see you all stand there—judging me.

I too blame me.
I blame myself everyday, because I didn’t try harder to scream.

One day something may happen to your neighbors,friends, daughters, homeless woman down the street.

I hope you don’t judge them the same way you judged me.

Return to sender

She remembered that day like it were yesterday.
His hands on her body and she couldn’t speak.
The way he half-caressed her, kneading, stalking.
Her mind was fuzzy and vision blurry.
It replayed over in her mind so clearly.
She couldn’t move.
Her body paralyzed.
She couldn’t breathe.
The tears piled as his body pressed inward.
There was no escaping this, so she lay there and took it.
Gazing into the distance, wanting desperately to be anywhere else but there.
The swift finish had come and passed and she was alone again.
Her thoughts racing, trying to understand.
No one was there to save her.
No one was there to hold her.
No one was there to prevent her from drowning in her sorrows.
She held on to that burden all on her own.