It’s in the eyes

I can see myself in a spiral for control—
I’ve lost it all.
The virtue that is I is gone and I don’t know why.
Playing the role of a woman who has it all
I can’t help but cry because it’s a beautiful lie.
It’s in the eyes,
My soul on a display for an Oscar-winning award for the “best leading woman in a drama”
Looking up to the sky— there are no answers when the sun won’t shine.
I’ve got to know right now because the only truth is in the eyes.
One minute I’m fine and the next I’ve fallen to my knees, curled into a ball.
I must be blind—there’s more lies than truths and the anger won’t subside.
Look me in the eye and tell me everything will be alright.

The naked truth

Photo courtesy of suite101.com

Body temperature rises as the bile piles itself within my throat.
A slow, aching shiver caressed itself up my back and my voice began to choke.
Never in a million years did I see this coming
Hands on my knees, ready to bolt.
The tears began to well in my eyes as I fought back the emotions of what I had done.
I never saw it coming,
The day I sacrificed myself for someone else.
I bantered back and forth on which direction to go.
My argument strong and plausible, but something inside me knew it was wrong.
The life inside me urged me to believe
Afraid to make the wrong choice and land on a mine that will surely end our lives.
I ache inside as another brick is strategically placed on my heart.
Holding your hand as the life seeps through
The words vomiting into the canister beside us
A shaky realization of the sin that created the life that sickened me.
The clouds began to rumble as the rain poured itself on the world
Bathing us in all its horrid glory.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.
My heart may be heavy, but I haven’t lost my memory.